Throughout the waves of deep grief and great anger of the past days, I’ve been soul searching in regard to who I am and where I stand. I’ve come to many conclusions and written a great deal in my personal notes about my feelings about the state of our country as well as my feelings towards those who made the choice to support Donald Trump. As I look over those several thousand words, it’s clear I’ve been too depressed and angry to write eloquently on the subject, so I will save those words for another post. Today, I would like to share why I am making the choice to go by my first name.
When I first started working at Normandy 7th & 8th Grade Center in August of 2015, I considered asking to go by “Miss Colleen” for the simple reason that I prefer to be addressed by my first name. I refrained from doing so because I was young, new to the job and everyone else seemed to go by their last names. I figured I needed to go by the same thing at both of my schools, so I introduced myself as “Miss Shaughnessy” at Normandy Kindergarten Center as well. Most of my 5-year-olds who I only saw for around 30 minutes weekly never really learned my name, so I decided to introduce myself as “Miss Colleen” at the kindergarten center this past August. Consequently I have a significantly higher number of young friends who call me by name this year.
For an entirely different reason, I am proclaiming today that my first name is the most important of my three names. The reason is this: I am beholden to no man. Last names celebrate the lineage of the men in our families. We take on our dads’ or our husbands’ last name. Some women get married and chose to keep or hyphenate their last names, but this is still typically celebrating the heritage of their father or in some instances their mother’s father. I don’t think there is anything necessarily wrong with this, but I would like to be addressed by my first name because that is the name that is unique to me as an individual. And again, I am beholden to no man.
I love all three of my names: Colleen Bernadette Shaughnessy. I’ve always loved my last name. I like that uncommon and it’s Irish and I think it’s a lovely name. I still love my last name, but I identify with my first. Maybe someday I’ll get married and change my last name. Maybe I won’t. On this day, at this point in my journey, my last name just isn’t as important to me as my first. And so I’m going to start telling my middle-schoolers they can call me “Miss Colleen” if they would like to. And to all my lovely co-workers: Please call me Colleen.
Sincerely,
Colleen
PS: I know some people will read this as some kind of protest against my family of heritage. To those people, I would like to say: “I’m sorry you don’t understand. I am not taking a stand against a person or a family. I am celebrating who I am as an individual. And maybe I am standing up against patriarchy, but it’s not personal, so please don’t take it personally.”
When I first started working at Normandy 7th & 8th Grade Center in August of 2015, I considered asking to go by “Miss Colleen” for the simple reason that I prefer to be addressed by my first name. I refrained from doing so because I was young, new to the job and everyone else seemed to go by their last names. I figured I needed to go by the same thing at both of my schools, so I introduced myself as “Miss Shaughnessy” at Normandy Kindergarten Center as well. Most of my 5-year-olds who I only saw for around 30 minutes weekly never really learned my name, so I decided to introduce myself as “Miss Colleen” at the kindergarten center this past August. Consequently I have a significantly higher number of young friends who call me by name this year.
For an entirely different reason, I am proclaiming today that my first name is the most important of my three names. The reason is this: I am beholden to no man. Last names celebrate the lineage of the men in our families. We take on our dads’ or our husbands’ last name. Some women get married and chose to keep or hyphenate their last names, but this is still typically celebrating the heritage of their father or in some instances their mother’s father. I don’t think there is anything necessarily wrong with this, but I would like to be addressed by my first name because that is the name that is unique to me as an individual. And again, I am beholden to no man.
I love all three of my names: Colleen Bernadette Shaughnessy. I’ve always loved my last name. I like that uncommon and it’s Irish and I think it’s a lovely name. I still love my last name, but I identify with my first. Maybe someday I’ll get married and change my last name. Maybe I won’t. On this day, at this point in my journey, my last name just isn’t as important to me as my first. And so I’m going to start telling my middle-schoolers they can call me “Miss Colleen” if they would like to. And to all my lovely co-workers: Please call me Colleen.
Sincerely,
Colleen
PS: I know some people will read this as some kind of protest against my family of heritage. To those people, I would like to say: “I’m sorry you don’t understand. I am not taking a stand against a person or a family. I am celebrating who I am as an individual. And maybe I am standing up against patriarchy, but it’s not personal, so please don’t take it personally.”
